How I stay sane while working in politics
(and maybe how you can too?)
As promised in the subject line, I have some tips for how to stay sane in this moment — but before I do: A few ~housekeeping~ items…
First: We’re less than one month out from when When We're In Charge comes out!!!
Pre-orders mean the world to me and also mean a lot to the world (meaning: they count toward hitting a best-seller list on week one!) so if you ever think you’re going to buy it, pre-order it now wherever you get your books in hard copy, e-book, or audio book.
A bonus: If you pre-order it from Bookshop.org with code AMANDA15, you can get a 15% off discount (and support independent bookstores - win/win.)
Bookshop.org -- use code AMANDA15 for 15% off all pre-orders!
Second: I’m thrilled that we’ve locked in two events for May — both are free but RSVPs are requested to make sure we have room.
Now: Five tips for not losing your mind
Politics is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do as a job. (I am, annoyingly, that person.)
Starting around eighth grade, I was knocking doors for Democrats in Virginia and going to NARAL Pro-Choice Virginia rallies with my best friend and her mom.
In high school, I found my way into things like week-long advocacy bootcamps that brought teenagers to the Hill for lobby days on raising the minimum wage. AP Government was one of my favorite classes and anytime I got to pick topics for papers, I found a way to tie them back to politics or government.
My junior year, I skipped a day of school to go see then-Senator Barack Obama speak at the university across the street from my high school as he prepped his presidential campaign and from then on, I knew I wanted to work for him.
I wavered a bit throughout college on exactly what I wanted my job to be — I tried out various internships, first on the Hill, then at my local Democratic Party committee, and twice at political magazines only to ultimately decide that campaigns were my sweet spot; a perfect mix of art and science —they felt to me like high-stakes theater that if executed perfectly, could change people’s lives, hopefully for the better.
My first job, hired while I was still in college, was on the Obama re-elect campaign as a digital fundraiser. I stuck with the team at Organizing for Action for a year, moved to Florida for the 2014 governor’s race, then came to New York in 2015 to work for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. I started Run for Something after that, and have been in the thick of it ever since.
I don’t know how to not pay attention to politics. Fortunately for my job and unfortunately for my phone battery (and sometimes also my husband), I am not someone who can easily stop reading the news or ever really log off.
(FWIW, I don’t think this is a good thing. I write in When We’re In Charge about my deep shame around finding it really hard to take vacations, even as I genuinely celebrate and encourage our staff to take them liberally.)
As you can imagine, likely connected to my unending chugging of the news, especially in the last eight years, I spend a lot of time really fucking angry.
I actually wrote about this back in 2017 in Women’s Health — re-reading it for the first time in years, I am comforted that while I have changed a lot since then, I am still the same me. To quote myself:
My anger is my cup of coffee in the morning. It gets me out of bed and keeps me focused. And I'm thankful for the work I get to do, which allows me to focus specifically on the future. As it turns out, simply doing the damn thing has soothed me and brought me back to myself.
I am lucky and grateful that my job allows me to channel my rage into action, and balances it with a regular dose of hope (and I genuinely do have hope).
So I don’t really know what it’s like to have a day job that requires you to get on conference calls about widgets or marketing plans and see the push notifications go off in the background. (Must be hard!)
But even I can find the firehose of bullshit overwhelming from time to time. So, five maxims I lean on that may be helpful to you right now:
Whenever possible, pick the poison that you’ve got an antidote for. It is okay not to stare directly into the heart of evil beating through every single atrocity. Focus on the things you feel like you can or want to take action on, whatever that action might be.
That doesn’t mean other things don’t matter. There are so many things happening in the world that matter! But your time, energy, resources, and attention are limited. As long as you pay attention to something and then follow it up with doing something, you don’t have to pay attention to everything.Relatedly: Stay close to home. By that I mean: it can be easy to get sucked into the horror show in DC and lose sight of what’s happening where you live.
I allow myself to spend time reading and getting big mad about New York City politics (remember: No on Cuomo!) because (1) NYC politics directly affects my quality of life and (2) what’s happening in my hometown is a thing I can directly make my voice heard on by voting in local elections.
Did I do some ranting in my husband’s general direction about how Cuomo’s donors are also Trump donors and so of course he’s not going to stand up to Trump? Sure did! But I can channel that rage into my vote in June, among other things. Local problems tend to have local solutions — meaning, ones you can more easily be a part of.Get out of your head and into your body. For years, I was a near-daily exerciser. Even on the busiest seasons of campaigns, I’d get myself to the 6am yoga class across the street from the office or squeeze in a half hour at the gym at some point during the day.
Now that I have two tiny kids and a very busy day job, I’m less consistent about it. I can get on the Peloton or do a home workout maybe two days a week and I manage to make it to a yoga or pilates class most Fridays, but it’s not the same. When my weeks get too packed to make time for even those things, I can start to feel my brain liquidating out my ears.
At the very least, I’ve held on to my daily dog walk. Every morning around 6:30, my nearly 13-year old dog and I take to the streets of Brooklyn to sniff and eat trash (her) or listen to podcasts about things we have no opinions on (me). We meander for a half hour, and if nothing else, that helps level set me for the day.
It’s really fucking annoying that exercise works. Do whatever physical thing you can. Much like activism: Something is better than nothing.Find yourself a living thing/creature that knows nothing of the Nazis. I’ve had my dog since 2013 — literally having to get out of bed to walk her (see: point three!) has kept me from sinking into the darkest edges of despair. Add on a toddler and a baby who each require all-eyes-on-them and there’s more than enough chaos in my life that has nothing to do with politics.
Your “living creature” doesn’t need to be a kid or a pet — try a garden or houseplants, a sourdough starter, or hell, a tamagotchi or a new farm on Stardew Valley. Just something that depends on you in some way and requires your regular focus and maintenance. It is good to remember you have a purpose beyond or in addition to your desire to make change.Finally, the one-two punch of parenting cliches that also apply to this moment in history: (1) The only way out is through and (2) the days are long but the years are short. Time will pass. We can’t fast-forward through this era — we can only live through it and do our best to be useful however we can to nudge things in the direction we want them to go.
And eventually, there will be a day when Trump’s not president anymore. He is term-limited — don’t give into the doomerism about him finding a way to stay past 2028 — and also, he’s very old and in poor health, so at some point, it will happen.
When that day comes, I find it comforting to keep in mind: My kids will still be little kids. Maybe not baby+toddler, but still little! A few years is long — but it’s not that long in the grand scheme of things.
That’s not to say deep harm and devastation can’t happen in the meantime — so much already has. But time will pass. We’ll get to the other side, one way or another. And if we keep letting our rage spur us into action, the other side could actually be pretty damn good.Two book recs - both by authors I find to be very reliable for breaking reading ruts:
Flirting Lessons by Jasmine Guillory - Avery is fresh off a break-up and tired of being so uptight; Taylor is Napa Valley’s #1 flirt — when the two hit it off, Taylor offers to give Avery flirting lessons and help her find her confidence in dating women. You can see where this goes, but it’s a sweet (and very hot!) opposites-attract story.
The Griffin Sisters’ Greatest Hits by Jennifer Weiner - Awkward-but-super-talented Cassie and Beautiful-fame-craving-but-meh-singing Zoe spent one year on top of the pop charts (and the world) as the Griffin Sisters before the band broke up after trauma hits.
Two decades later, Zoe is a suburban mom with a teenage daughter, Cherry, who herself seeks to be a musical star and Cassie is living on the edge of society in rural Alaska, trying to disappear. Their worlds collide. I was so sucked into this — I couldn’t wait to see how it ended. Heads up that it’s a little heavy handed on some of the weight/body image stuff, but in a way that makes sense given the way women pop stars of the early 2000s were treated.
Other reading/listening recs:
My friend
, wrote a great list of ways to keep fighting without falling apart. We must be on the same wavelength right now. (Meaning: Tired.) [Substack]I am obsessed with Amy Poehler’s new podcast, Good Hang. I’ve listened to every episode out already and it is excellent, especially on topics around work, ambition, and creativity.. 10/10. [YouTube or wherever you get your pods.]
“The 21st century has been the age of the “double sell-out”: Creators who produce market-friendly content to achieve fame — and then use that fame to pursue even more commerce-for-commerce's-sake.” [Culture]
This truly hits home. Rage is my coffee everyday. Thankful for my dog!
Great post! I'm also writing about staying engaged without getting burned out every week -it's a constant balancing act. I will check out those book recs. If you are looking for more, I am currently completely sucked into The God of the Woods by Liz Moore, a multiple narrative mystery told over several decades triggered by a rich girl disappearing from summer camp in the Adirondacks in 1975. And I absolutely loved The Life Impossible by Matt Haig which was so surprising and gripping and ultimately uplifting with a dash of magical realism. The Most Wonderful Crime of the year by Ally Carter was also fun - a murder mystery slash romance novel set in a big isolated mansion in Scotland at Xmas that's peopled by a family of awful aristocrats and a couple of mystery writers from NYC 🎄.